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When we think of a solo trip, we rarely imagine the protagonist as a father or mother with small children. However, as the journalist Nina Kokotas admitted in Condé Nast Traveler USA, sometimes, an adventure of this nature is configured as the only possible way out of not going crazy.
"I needed perspective. I needed air. That's why, when I was presented with the opportunity to travel alone to the Galapagos Islands, I talked to my husband, I prepared a good family support to help him and I embarked on the adventure as if there was no tomorrow, "explains the author.
Your trip, like Kokotas', will be full of revealing moments © Photo by David Marcu on Unsplash
Once at his destination, contemplating the landscape from the top of a mountain, Kokotas had a moment of clairvoyance : "Tears ran down my cheeks. I could not remember the last time I had felt so present, " he recalls.
"Yes, traveling alone pushes you, " the journalist continues. "It awakens you, opens your eyes and shows you what you are not seeing. But it also causes a tremendous moment of self - care . For a working mother and wife, that is something that can change your life. Much of what we do all days is underlined by responsibility, discipline and control (how else could we do it all in one day?) But imagine for a moment being away from everything, free of guilt and taking care of yourself only. reboot and welfare that can get out of there. "
HOW TO FACE THE FIRST JOURNEY IN SOLITARIUS?
To answer this question, we get in touch with the psychologist Jara Pérez . "I think it is healthy for a father or mother to show enough awareness of the need for care we all have to book a few days and be able to make a trip alone or with friends, but without family, " he explains.
"I think there is something very interesting there, that is to have enough confidence in the other member of the couple or in the people you have decided to leave your children in the care. This is wonderful, knowing that they will be well enough taken care of and that they will be totally able to spend a few days without you . "
They do it, why don't you? © Photo by Toni Hukkanen on Unsplash
Olga Grymierski, owner of the Japanese restaurant Okami, decided last year to do the same as Kokotas, inspired by the sabbatical months that the Japanese take between the university and the beginning of working life. "My thing was above all admiration for that, since here it is very rare for someone to travel alone, especially if they are women. It was, above all, a challenge, " he tells us.
"In the beginning, it was hard for me to make that decision, and communicating it to my family was something I didn't know how to raise. Moreover, I considered the possibility of traveling with my daughter, my sister or my best friend, but, I don't know, something told me that there is only one life and that if other women in the world did it, why not me? At least, once in a lifetime … "
Once one decides to undertake this type of trip, the greatest fear that he is facing probably has to do with how his family will take it, even with how he should communicate it. Will they feel left out? Will they think I didn't have a good time with them?
However, Pérez takes the matter from the iron: "I think it is natural to explain that, in addition to parents, we are people and we have needs that do not necessarily have to do with the family, it is enough. Concessions are natural and necessary, they don't have to feel hurt.
"In addition to parents, we are people" © Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash
On the contrary, if it is posed as a great feat full of guilt, they will perceive that there is something that does not work, and that if parents feel guilty it is because they are not doing things right. So, first of all, it's just a trip, "he reflects.
THE CASE OF OLGA: A RETURN TO THE ORIGINS
The restaurateur got the support of her own, who took the idea "pretty well." However, both her four children and her husband wondered if in the end she would have the courage to do so, which further outlined the concept of "challenge" she perceived on her trip, which, moreover, was a return to the origins very special.
"I chose Lithuania because it is the land where my father was born, whom I did not have much opportunity to meet, he already divorced my mother when I was five years old, " explains Olga, who remembers that, at that time, in 1918 -do already a century-, Lithuania was Polish, just like her last name.
"The story of my father was always a great mystery for me . My mother, despite having lived with him for more than 20 years and having had four children of his, I hardly knew her, since he was a very reserved man . I knew that he had participated in the war, after the Russian army separated him from his family to enlist him in the army and never saw his mother again. That must have meant a great trauma that he could never overcome … "recalls the traveler.
Olga documented to immerse herself further in her destiny © Photo by Mr Cup / Fabien Barral on Unsplash
"Discovering my origins and walking the streets where my grandparents - whom I never met - had walked, was a destination for me, almost a mission ." Therefore, as the character of Elijah Wood did in Everything is enlightened, Olga undertook a research task once there.
"It was the first time I was traveling alone. As soon as I arrived in Vilnius, the capital, I suffered a very powerful feeling. Being alone didn't help me much at that moment, but believe me if I tell you that it was THE JOURNEY OF MY LIFE, " he emphasizes. .
"I had the opportunity to know my land, to incredible people and places, to live something amazing and unrepeatable. It was a week full of emotions; I even had the opportunity to travel in a balloon, because Vilnius is the only place in Europe where You can travel in a balloon in the city, besides being really beautiful. Knowing friends that I still have and feeling that I was part of the place made everything even more magical and unforgettable, "explains the traveler.
After such a positive experience, this businesswoman is clear: she will repeat. "Probably, this August, to Croatia, " he clarifies. "It is something that fills so much and makes you feel so free and out of the routine that, when you get home, you feel special and eager. You recharge your batteries to continue with the day-to-day routine, especially if you are mother and worker ".
"Lacan said: ' Love is giving what you don't have, " Perez recalls. "This refers to offering the other everything that we have and everything that we cannot give, the lack, because that also constitutes us as complete persons. To behave as persons, as well as parents, allowing us to absent ourselves for a few days to rest and enjoy solitude, it would be to accept that fault that is also important that we offer, "concludes the psychologist.
A unique trip © Photo by Graeme Nicholl on Unsplash